Still not super active here, sorry
Not much to update on, everything has been pretty normal, just battling some inner demons, aka my depression. Its something I have been suffering with for the past 10 years and it has been a struggle, but I am finally working on it cause I somehow finally convinced myself that I am worth it. Before I would always let my depression run my thoughts and take me into a reality that doesn't exist...if that makes any sense.
Basically I would take something that someone said, or did, and my mind would take it as something negative and it would make me feel sad, or hurt, which in effect causes a spiral of other negative thoughts, creating this false reality that people don't actually care and everyone hates me in some sort of way. Well, it took a serious long talk with my brother and my boyfriend to make me realize that I don't need to live that false reality, and the true reality is not as bad. Yes life is hard and there are times that will make you stress and struggle, but you have to keep moving forward and work through things. As of right now, if one of those negative thoughts creeps up on me, I try to distract myself by listening to youtube, and I convince myself that it is really not that big of a deal, and not to take everything everyone says or does to heart. This whole thing goes on a much deeper scale as to why I have depression and anxiety, but I won't get into those details because they are personal
So if anyone out there is battling depression as well, just remind yourself that those inner demons will try to twist your reality and make you feel worse, causing more depression. Don't let the spiral happen. Tell the depression to f*** off, tell yourself that your worth it. Love yourself, life is short, and we are here for only a moment it seems, so enjoy your stay make the best of any situation. Don't focus on the negatives and look at the positives. When you feel like your struggling, just smile and accept the challenges in life. The sun will continue to rise and whatever may be bothering you will eventually subside.
Also.. it sounds silly, but I kind of take inspiration from this song ^^' If you listen to the words it sends a good message.
Alright, im done rambling lol